Meet the ‘napsters’

By Dick Wolfsie
Guest Columnist
Dick Wolfsie

One Saturday, something happened that made me very proud of my family and I want to share it with you.

It was about 3 in the afternoon and my adult son had just stopped by after a boxing workout. My wife had returned from a long morning of shopping and running errands. I had just played two hours of pickleball. What was I proud of? Everyone took a nap. Right smack in the middle of the day.

People in the neighborhood were not only taking down their holiday lights, but tossing around a football with the kids, gassing up the snow blowers, or taking a brisk walk in the nearby woods.

But the Wolfsies were all asleep. Brett sacked out on the couch, Mary Ellen in our king-sized bed, and I was tucked into my La-Z-Boy chair. Do I know how to pick a family or what?

I just wish I could have been awake to fully enjoy it. If I had not been napping myself, I would have run around the neighborhood bragging, “My whole family is taking a nap. My whole family is taking a nap.” But bellowing, “Two out of three people in my family are taking a nap” would have taken a bit of the shine off my bravado.

Of course, my son and wife are not experienced nappers. They have not spent the years I have perfecting the art of the timely snooze.

Unlike me, my wife has never slept through Paris on a bus or dozed through an entire baseball game. Unlike me, my son has never fallen asleep at his own surprise birthday party or while tutoring a student after class. They are novice nappers. But I was thrilled that there was hope.

Here it was Saturday afternoon, a gorgeous, crisp winter afternoon enticing every family in the neighborhood to go outside and enjoy the weather. But all the Wolfsies were napping.

Of course, there are some drawbacks to amateur napping. When my wife awakens, she apologizes for her lapse and then spends the next three hours worrying she is coming down with something. I’m no medical expert, but I don’t think you need to give yourself a COVID test if you doze off for 20 minutes in the middle of the afternoon.

When I doze off for an hour or so, I awaken with a renewed sense of purpose. Men and women place different values on a good daytime snooze. Women don’t like naps because they are afraid they will miss something, like a sale or a sunset or the plot of a movie. But that’s exactly the reason I do nap. To miss things.

I do worry about my son, though. As a toddler, he showed great potential, often rivaling me. He’d fall asleep after a good meal and often snuck in a nap before going to bed. I had great expectations for him, but my hopes dimmed as he grew up. He once sat through an entire “Harry Potter” movie without snoring. And more recently, he watched 3 1/2 hours of “Oppenheimer” without digging his nails into his thigh. You may think we wasted the afternoon. That we squandered valuable time and frittered it away by dozing off at 3 in the afternoon. You are entitled to your opinion. But I’m not going to lose any sleep over it.

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